TALK NUMBER 8 - A SHORT RIFF ON BULLY COUNTER-BALANCE

“That kid is so lazy. She doesn’t like to do her… Chores! Paperwork! Housework!”

From very early on we are conditioned to look at these activities in a negative way. Who would want to do chores or homework? Yikes!

The conditioning to dislike the necessary maintenance of life – the structural activities that actually create a certain kind of ease and balance- starts at a very early age. We get yelled at to do these things, called lazy if we don’t, and build a backlog of resistance. These are the activities that we put off, procrastinate, moan and groan about.

Once upon a time in Japan a housemaid was ironing shirts. The young daughter of the house was confused. “Why are you smiling?” she asked. “When my mom irons shirts she wrinkles her brow and scrunches up her face.”

The housemaid smiled at the little girl and answered, “Everything I do is a meditation. Ironing shirts and making them lovely is just as important as anything else I do.”

True story and even though she was only ten years old, the kid got the message. If we look at everything we do in the right way it can be special and lovely and help us create harmony, beauty and balance in our lives.

Take cleaning the house. It can be a ‘wrinkle-your-brow’ chore or it can become a challenging, balancing act.

I can imagine you raising your eyebrows right now, rolling your eyes and saying, “Yeah, right…”

But imagine re-framing housecleaning. Instead of putting it into a high-groan category of chore, imagine thinking of it as:

Meditation
Creating beauty
Taking care of yourself
Affirming your self worth

How would this work?

Meditation: Each of the steps I take to clean my home have their own rhythm. Sweeping or vacuuming has a special movement and momentum. I use my body and feel my own gracefulness as I make my home clean. If I let myself float into the rhythm, I can lose myself in time. Repetitive motions can easily take me into trance states. I can allow my own internal music to play or add the dimension of external sound. Breathing deeply intensifies my experience.

Affirmation: As I clean, I can add the affirming words that I deserve to live in a sparkling, beautiful and uncluttered space.

Creating beauty: As my hands touch the things I clean and my eyes see them, I can enjoy and rediscover my possessions. As I shine these things or dust or wash them, I remember the stories connected with each object.

Taking care of myself: As I create beauty in my living space, I tell myself how lucky I am to have this home and these objects. I rejoice in my ability to use my energy to care for them. I use these moments to remind myself of my good fortune.

Every time I see clutter and throw things away or organize them better, I take pleasure in my ability to use my mind to organize space, problem solve and visualize physical space as if it were a giant puzzle that I can put together. I remind myself that challenging my mind in this way helps me stay mentally flexible.

This same process can be applied to paper-work, home-work, and all the other life supporting activities that we have learned to demonize. Too often we take pleasure only when these undertakings are completed and bemoan the fact that they are not “one-off” deals, but rather part of that never ending list that we are in the habit of complaining about.

If the only enjoyment of an activity is when it’s over, no wonder we moan and groan when it never really leaves the list.

Instead, if you allow yourself to explore the pleasurable sensations of body and mind that can accompany these on going life activities, if you can allow yourself to be creative in making them feel good as you do them, you are sure to experience a positive shift in your daily life.

If the things that we ‘have to do’ become the things that we enjoy doing, life gets way easier and way more fun!

Give it a try and please share your ideas and experiences with us.